SNAFU

Erik Goldstein is a folk-rocker from Martha's Vineyard. He has been on his North American tour for about three weeks. The highlight of the tour is tonight. He will play the Fillmore. It is a very exciting moment in his life. He has wanted to play the Fillmore since he was a teenager, and was just starting to learn how to sing and play guitar. Now, he and his band, The Soap Impressions, will play the legendary venue of his dreams.

The elated musician is supposed to be on in three hours. He sits in his bus, drinking coffee. He feels slightly stiff and his throat feels a little rough. He doesn't think much of it, because he knows he hasn't gotten too much sleep and assumes he is merely out of it and a bit tired. A little coffee should do the trick. He decides to take a nap. Maybe he will feel better after getting some rest. When he wakes up, he feels a bit light headed. He goes outside and fires up a cigarette. He hopes this might help. 

Erik gets on stage. He feels confident and strong again as he looks at the sea of adoring fans. He completely forgets his headache and sore muscles. He exchanges a few words with his bandmates, cracks a few jokes to the audience, then launches into his first song. He plays song after song, and after a while he begins to feel delirious and much more sore than before. As he sings a cover of "I Want You" by Bob Dylan, his voice cracks, and he begins to mix up the words. He struggles through the rest of the song, often leaving out entire lines. He loses his confidence. His fingers feel stiff, and he can barely play his guitar. Each song after this is progressively more sloppy than the one before it. Finally, he apologizes to the audience, then starts coughing and sneezing. He looks at the audience members who shake their heads in disappointment. He looks to his band and says, "Give them their money's worth," and walks off stage. The band plays on without him.

This bummed-out musician sits backstage, coughing and feeling feverish. "Why!?", he shouts at no one in particular. This is a serious bummer. He has dreamed of this moment for fifteen years, and when he finally gets to play at this venue, he gets sick and messes up the set. Why now? Why right at this moment? He feels fine the entire tour and is doing great, but as soon as he arrives at the Fillmore, for no explicable reason he suddenly falls ill. Erik is currently hating life, and wants to drown his sorrows in a bottle of Jack. Of course this will only get him sicker, so he decides to drink some emergen-C instead.. 

There is a knock at the door. Erik doesn't hear it at first. Finally, the door opens a crack. He hears a small voice ask him if he's OK, and whether he needs somebody to talk to. He doesn't recognize the voice, but says "come in" as steadily as he can. 

A monkey walks in, and sits down in a chair next to Erik. "Hi, I'm Uma. I saw what happened up on stage. I'm really sorry that that had to happen to you. You must feel embarrassed. But everybody knows it's not your fault. Everybody knows you're sick and feels bad for you. Your band put on a good show without you, and with any luck you'll be invited back here, another night when you're feeling a little better." 

"Thanks. But who are you, anyway?" Erik asks. 

"Just a loyal fan, that's all," Uma says, smiling comfortingly. 

Erik is very confused. A talking monkey. He must be really sick. Nonetheless, what Uma says makes sense, and he regains some confidence. Uma puts a hand on Erik's forehead and mutters something about a fever, and pulls out a tea bag from a pocket in her baggy dress: "Here, have some of this. It'll make you feel better". She says goodbye and good luck and leaves the room. Erik makes the tea, drinks it and very soon begins to feel a little better. He's not too bummed out now, and has regained some spiritual strength from Uma's kind words and actions. Thanks, Uma!