Downtown

Koala Johnson 

Koala Johnson is a koala. All he ever wanted was to grow up to be an ordinary fellow with an ordinary job. However, shortly after he graduates from high school, he falls in with the wrong kind of crowd and starts doing hard drugs. At the age of twenty, Koala has graduated to a rare form of Vitamin WOW, which is particularly dangerous for koalas. It causes hallucinations, intense euphoria, and delusions of grandeur. If taken in high enough doses it can cause spontaneous combustion and/or itchy paws. This is only the beginning. Koala realizes that in order to feed his habit, he must make more money. He starts dealing Vitamin WOW on the streets of San Francisco.

One day, as Koala is prowling the streets at night, pushing his product, a plain-clothes detective meets up with him. After negotiating for a bit, the detective arrests Koala. He is sent to prison on ten thousand dollar bail. He can't afford the bail, and no one he knows can either. He sits in his cell. He's bummed out.

Koala is suffering from intense withdrawal symptoms. He's in a lot of pain, and sometimes wonders if he'll get through alive. Pretty soon, it becomes clear to Warden Peters that inmate Koala Johnson needs some serious help. They send him to the prison therapist. She has a hard time communicating with him because she's unfamiliar with the psychology of koalas. She needs help. She sits around in her office doing research. She's hit a wall... Then, suddenly, out of the blue she remembers that her friend Uma knows quite a bit about the psyche of the koala. She's calls Uma. The magical monkey replies a few days later, and is very enthusiastic about the opportunity to help a troubled koala.

Uma enters the office. She is delighted to see her psychiatrist friend. They chat for a little bit. Then, she sees Koala lying on the sofa. His eyes are glazed over. He moans softly. Uma gasps, and rushes over to him. She checks his temperature, asks him what his name is, and immediately gets to work. She asks him  questions, gives him positive words, and gives him a back rub. Afterward, she whispers the greatest koala compliment in his ear: "You appear long out of the pouch". Koala smiles, and thanks her. He feels much better, spiritually. This will give him the strength to recover physically.

Uma decides to come back each week to check on Koala to make sure that he's doing OK. She tells him that it would be a good idea to take rehab classes and take cleansing Yoga sessions. If he does this, and doesn't get in any fights, he should be able to get out of the slammer in two years. Koala feels happy (not completely happy because two years is a long time), but happy enough. He looks forward to the future, feels much better physically, and is very thankful to Uma. Thanks again, Uma!